12-01-2004, 11:02 PM
A friend sent this very disturbing and heart-rending article: > >Canada busy sending back Bush-dodgers > >The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into >Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for >increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration. The >re-election of President Bush is prompting the exodus among left >leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray >and agree with Bill O'Reilly. > >Canadian border farmers say it 's not uncommon to see dozens of >sociology professors, animal rights activists and Unitarians >crossing their fields at night. "I went out to milk the cows the >other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the >barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders >North Dakota. The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. "He >asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. >When I said I didn't have any, he left. Didn't even get a chance >to show him my screenplay, eh?" > >In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected >higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. So he tried >installing speakers that blare Rush Limbaugh across the fields. >"Not real effective," he said. "The liberals still got through, >and Rush annoyed the cows so much they wouldn't give milk." > >Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet >liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station >wagons, drive them across the border and leave them to fend for >themselves. "A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged >conditions," an Ontario border patrolman said. "I found one >carload without a drop of drinking water. They did have a nice >little Napa Valley cabernet, though." > >When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, >often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from >conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about the Bush >administration establishing re-education camps in which liberals >will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR. > >In the days since the election, liberals have turned to sometimes >ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have taken to posing >as senior citizens on bus trips to buy cheap Canadian >prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans >disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration authorities >began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizen >passengers. "If they can't identify the accordion player on The >Lawrence Welk Show, we get suspicious about their age," an >official said. > >Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are >creating an organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good >Susan Sarandon movies. "I feel sorry for American liberals, but >the Canadian economy just can't support them," an Ottawa resident >said. "How many art-history majors does one country need?" > >In an effort to ease tensions between the United States and >Canada, Vice President Dick Cheney met with the Canadian >ambas
or and pledged that the administration would take steps >to reassure liberals, a source close to Cheney said. > >"We're going to have some Peter, Paul & Mary concerts. And we >might put some endangered species on postage stamps. The >president is determined to reach out." >
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or and pledged that the administration would take steps >to reassure liberals, a source close to Cheney said. > >"We're going to have some Peter, Paul & Mary concerts. And we >might put some endangered species on postage stamps. The >president is determined to reach out." >[signature]
