08-26-2005, 04:35 PM
Subject: WHY???
#1. Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries
are getting weak?
#2. Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there
is not enough?
#3. Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars,
but check when you say the paint is wet?
#4. Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
#5. Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
#6. Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
#7. Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw
a revolver at him?
#8. Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
#9. Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
#10. If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
#11. Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are
always white?
#12. Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
#13. Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that
something new to eat will have materialized?
#14. Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their
vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to
give the vacuum one more chance?
#15. Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try?
#16. How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
#17. When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a
shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?"
Well, it isn't all right so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"
#18. Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling
off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
#19. In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer
when we complained about the heat?
#20. How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
#21. If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try it like your wife told
you to do it?
#22. And obviously if at first you don't succeed, then don't take up sky
diving!
#23. .And my FAVORITE......The statistics on sanity are that one out of
every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. *Think of
your three best friends, if they're okay, then it's you.
[signature]
#1. Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries
are getting weak?
#2. Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there
is not enough?
#3. Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars,
but check when you say the paint is wet?
#4. Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
#5. Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
#6. Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
#7. Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw
a revolver at him?
#8. Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
#9. Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
#10. If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
#11. Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are
always white?
#12. Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
#13. Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that
something new to eat will have materialized?
#14. Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their
vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to
give the vacuum one more chance?
#15. Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try?
#16. How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
#17. When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a
shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?"
Well, it isn't all right so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"
#18. Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling
off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
#19. In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer
when we complained about the heat?
#20. How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
#21. If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try it like your wife told
you to do it?
#22. And obviously if at first you don't succeed, then don't take up sky
diving!
#23. .And my FAVORITE......The statistics on sanity are that one out of
every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. *Think of
your three best friends, if they're okay, then it's you.
[signature]